The Desk Story
by Bottles
Summary: In another story set in our Family universe, Adam and Charlie try to put together a desk for Jakob. Contains slash slash slash.


**THE DESK STORY**

**AUTHOR**: bottles and no banksie

**RATING**: PG-13

**DISCLAIMER**:

Chadam = slash. Slash = goodness. (Please note this is our opinion and we will use these three words interchangeably.) For those who are not fans of slash - Turn back. Although I don't even know why you clicked the link after seeing the author's name cause you know we only write slash.

**SUMMARY**:

As Adam earnestly anticipates Jakob's entrance to academia, he starts to prepare by purchasing an obese desk. Charlie is called in to help set it up. SLASH!

**QUICK NOTE**:

Another tale in our Family Story arc, with Jakob as the adopted son of Adam and Charlie. We would like to thank capitalism for providing a desk for no banksie and the creator of the word slash. And we love all of you who reviewed 'The Graduate'. Especially you, lycanthrope – your Chadam rocks; continue it!

**THE DESK STORY**

**4:58PM**

Charlie Conway lies on the leather couch of the living room he shares with his husband Adam Banks and their adopted son Jakob. He is recuperating from the last season of hockey, and has done nothing all day but flip the satellite channels on the television from one cartoon channel to another for his son, who has not moved from his prostrate position on Charlie's torso.

Charlie looks at the clock and realizes that Adam should have been home two hours ago from his dentist appointment. He is imbued with a dull sense of worry, but cannot conjure the energy to find his cell phone. However, motivation is secured when a low rumble sounds from within his stomach; although Adam cannot make Charlie rise from the couch, hunger will.

Charlie gently pushes Jakob off unto the couch, covers him with a blanket, and kisses him softly. Then he rises to go and prepare dinner. Charlie stands in the middle of their high tech kitchen and realizes that he does not know where any of the food is, except for that in the refrigerator. After breaking two expensive looking plates by yanking the dishwasher door open too quickly in his perusal for food, he finally locates a box of spaghetti noodles.

**5:04PM**

Charlie glares at the pot of water on the stove. He has no idea how to turn the stove on.

**5:07PM**

Charlie curses the stove.

**5:08PM**

Charlie nurses a bruised toe, from kicking the rock hard stove. He tries to cover the dent with a dishrag, hoping that Adam will not notice.

**5:11PM**

Charlie gives up on the idea of cooking a fabulous dinner for his family and calls in for pizza. He feverishly hopes he has enough money in his wallet; then he remembers that he is the star center and alternate captain of the Anaheim Mighty Ducks, and has a six figure salary. He grins.

**5:14PM**

Jakob rubs his eyes as he walks quietly into the kitchen. "Daddy? I had an accident." Charlie smiles at his son, and heads towards the living room.

**5:15PM**

Charlie cringes when he realizes that Jakob has peed on the recent edition of Sport's Illustrated, which Adam had not yet read. Adam will be inconsolable.

**5:16PM**

Charlie groans out loud when he realizes that Jakob peed on the leather couch. He dutifully carries his son to the bathroom, for a warm bubble bath.

**5:25PM**

Charlie wishes that instead of bathing Jakob, he was washing Adam. Charlie sighs.

**5:37PM**

The pizza delivery man finally rings the doorbell as Charlie is drying off Jakob's hair. Charlie hurriedly runs down their sprawling staircase, and curses loudly as he stubs his toe again. The Spazway in him is still alive and kicking – things.

**5:40PM**

Jakob burns his tongue on a piece of pizza, and cries fitfully. Charlie feels like joining him. He runs into the kitchen for ice, and gives it to Jakob, who proceeds to choke on it. Charlie frantically does the Heimlich maneuver, mercifully thanking his lucky stars the day Bombay taught it to him. Jakob spits out the ice, and crawls into Charlie's lap. The two slide down unto the kitchen floor and fall asleep.

**5:59PM**

Adam strolls into the house and yells at the top of his lungs, "Charlie baby, I'm home!" Jakob hears his father and wakes up instantly, and bounds into his father's arms. Adam questions his son, "Where's daddy?" Jakob points to the kitchen and Adam grins. "I hope he didn't try to cook," Adam says, picturing the walls blackened and the windows billowing out smoke.

Adam carries Jakob into the kitchen where he sees a few boxes of pizza stacked precariously on top of one another, and does not see Charlie. Adam looks down at his son questioningly, but Jakob just giggles and points. Charlie is laid spread eagle on the floor under the kitchen table, and he is drooling on their hardwood floors.

Adam nudges Charlie with his shoe, but Charlie does not respond. Adam shrugs and turns back to his son. "I bought a present for you, but I need Daddy to help me set it up. Hopefully, he is not dead. I promise you that it will be in your play room tomorrow though."

**6:10PM**

Adam and Jakob sit in their living room eating the rest of the now cold pizza, watching the newest telecast of SportsCenter on ESPN. Charlie is forgotten, still lying on the floor of the kitchen.

**9:45PM**

Adam carries Jakob upstairs to his room, and makes sure he goes to the bathroom before climbing into his choo-choo bed. He tucks his son in and kisses him on the forehead, thanking his stars above fervently for his family. He decides that he should go and begin the arduous task of waking his husband.

**9:47PM**

Charlie is still passed out on the floor, and a puddle of his own drool has accumulated under his open mouth. Adam drops to his knees behind Charlie and slowly lowers his body on top of the latter, prudent not to place too much weight on his wrists. Charlie feels the heavy weight enfolding him on the floor and lets out a stifled groan, but before he can begin to flail about, Adam latches his mouth onto Charlie's. Without words, Charlie asks Adam how his day has been, and Adam responds that it really doesn't matter at the moment because he is now here with Charlie.

After a few minutes of Adam's favorite kind of hockey – tonsil hockey, he informs Charlie that he must assist him in putting together a desk for their son.

"A desk? What does he need a desk for? You know who needs a desk? Me!"

"You have your own money, and you can go out and buy you own desk. Jakob is starting kindergarten and he needs to get on the right track now, by buckling down on his studies and…"

Charlie rolls his eyes. "He's five years old, Adam! Stop being such a cake eater."

"I'm allergic to cake!"

"You can't be allergic to –"

"Goddamnit, yes I can! Now get your sorry ass up and help me put together our son's desk."

"I'll tell you what my sorry ass wants to do. Mate with yours."

**10:10PM**

Adam notices that there are now scuff marks on the kitchen floor that he will have to clean. There are also burn marks on his back from where Charlie caused friction between his back and the floor as they made out like teenagers under the kitchen table.

**10:17PM**

"This is one fucking heavy desk, Adam!" Charlie cries as they lift it out of Adam's backseat. "I think I have a hernia!"

"Be a man," Adam admonishes him, and they both grin at each other in the street light.

**10:30PM**

Adam and Charlie are sitting Indian style in their living room with a 90 pound desk and its disassembled parts around them. Adam is grinning happily at the thought of putting together a desk.

Charlie grabs the instruction manual from the box and stares at it in disbelief. "This is a fucking eighteen page instruction manual, Adam!"

Adam picks up their electric drill bit and a hammer. "Eighteen pages of fun!"

**10:31PM**

Adam sports a bruise on his shoulder, courtesy of Charlie.

"Eighteen pages of fun my ass!" Charlie says.

Adam nurses his shoulder.

**10:40PM**

Charlie starts to whine about how tired he is. Adam ignores him, and orders him to find his electric drill bit. Charlie looks for it in their surrounding area, but can not see it. He lies on his stomach and peeks under the couch, but instead of finding the drill, Charlie finds a recent edition of Cosmopolitan. He pulls it out incredulously.

"Where the hell did this Cosmo come from, Adam?" Charlie indignantly asks Adam, who looks up from hammering two pieces of wood together with a very surprised look on his face.

"I don't know," Adam replied feebly.

" 'How to tell if He's good in Bed'… 'Naked Chefs'…. 'Found – the sexiest jeans'," Charlie rattled off the titles of the article plastered on the cover, but then stopped very suddenly when he read that this particular issue of Cosmopolitan was subscribed to one Adam Conway. "You ordered Cosmopolitan?! IN MY NAME?"

Adam's face is covered with a blush. "I don't…I –"

Charlie flips open the issue and is astounded that Adam has seemingly book marked the articles that interested him the most. "'How to tell if he's good in bed! Well, Adam, tell me: How does Cosmo think I am in bed?"

"You're an overzealous bed hog, according to Cosmo," Adam said.

Charlie throws the issue at Adam.

**11:12PM**

The couple is admiring the half constructed desk; Adam complimenting his own craftsmanship while Charlie is wondering how the hell it's going to stand upright, when Jakob creeps into the room, tugging a blanket along behind him.

"What's the matter sweetie?" Charlie asks.

"I had a bad dream, Dad."

Charlie and Adam look at one another, and Charlie agrees without words to put Jakob back in bed. He picks his son up and rubs his back. "Come on. I'll tuck you bad into bed," he says as the two patter down the hallway.

**11:20PM**

Charlie walks back into the living room, surprised to find that the desk is almost completed. "Damn, Adam!" he admires.

"Yeah, well…" Adam sheepishly rubs the back of his neck. "You know how you took gym senior year?" Charlie nods. "Well I took carpentry."

**11:22PM**

Adam has hit a hurdle in adding the final side of the desk and is frantically looking around the room, speaking out loud to himself. "Where are you honey?"

Charlie looks up at Adam from where he is sitting on the floor, nearly dozing off. "I'm right here."

"Not you, I meant the instruction manual."

Charlie pouts.

**11:37PM**

Adam slides the final top drawer in place, and beams at the desk. "We're finished!"

Charlie glares at the desk, and then at Adam. "How the hell are we supposed to get this obese monster upstairs, Adam?"

Adam ponders. "Damnit."

Please review and let us know what you think!.


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